Baby Gravy

Woah. Super long time, no post. That work life balance I’m trying to achieve is kicking my tail lately. Does it matter that I have unfinished posts in my draft folder waiting for me to upload photos? No, I know better than that.

Basically, there’s just been a lot of stuff that’s been requiring my attention, and this is pretty far down on my priority list at the moment.

Anyway, no time like the present to do something. So I’ll tell you what makes me feel better about serving Chinese takeout for dinner tonight instead of a home cooked meal:

1. I’m eating dinner with my kids
2. Eli made me realize what fun we could have with chopsticks! On his own, he placed two together and said, “This is a Y”

So I said, What other letters can you make? (open ended)

X!

T!

I!

V! (upside down)

So then I said, Can you make a K? and he said, “I need one more.”

“Now I can make an A!”

I was having so much fun, I accidentally fed this one a few spoonfuls of Springfield style cashew chicken gravy out of the tub I was dipping from in place of the homemade organic baby purée I had prepared for her. Yup, mom of the year, right here 😉

She LOVED it.

4 Months

3 months

Month 3 was the month of vocal development!  This girl can coo and ahhhghh and goo her face off.  She loves to talk with people.  She truly tries to have conversation and is much more enthusiastic about it than her brother ever was.  I guess it’s the female thing.  Whether at the breast or bottle, she will interrupt her meal to rattle off a string of noises as she stares into the eyes of her dinner companion and smiles.  She uses various intonations and volume, as if she’s really trying to emphasize a point.  She even bats her little lashes at the end of a “sentence”.  Skills.  Ladies are born with them.

4 Months

In the fourth month, she became even more “talkative” and much more interested in what her brother is doing.  She’s also become more interested in reading books and has started smiling at the pictures.

Speaking of sibling interest, Elijah has taken a lot more interest in her since she became able to do more than eat, poop, and take attention away from him.  It’s not perfect, and he has spells of jealousy to be sure, but overall it’s much better.

Can you believe there are only 22 months between these two adorable specimens?  What a difference it makes!

This is what you have to put up with when you have an older brother. Robots on your head. This passes for parallel play at my house. 

Miss Jordan is just really getting to be a lot of fun.  It’s hard to capture her smiles on camera, but she gives us plenty of them.  She seems to be a very good natured, happy little lady, and for that I’m very thankful.  I tell her, “pretty is as pretty does”.  By that old saying, she’s very pretty.  She loves to talk, to listen, and to cuddle.  She just wants to be a part of whatever is going on, and is happy to sit in a lap or in a bouncy seat and take it all in.

One of my favorite little things about her right now is the way she acts when she wakes up.  She is sleepy when I go in to get her, squinchy eyes, etc. as anyone does in the morning. A bit of drowsy confusion.  What I love is that she launches directly from this state to one of excitement with a huge smile on her face as soon as she sees me.  It’s absolutely the best.

Sleep Progress Weeks 9-12

Though a bit delayed in posting, I thought I’d update on sleep progress.  Life is pretty good right now in the arena of baby sleep.

Week 9

During the latter part of this week, I felt like Jordan was outgrowing the 2.5 hour meal interval thing, so we went to a combo 2.5/3 hour routine, which she settled into well.  For the previous 2 weeks, it seemed her metabolism had regulated to eat about every 2.5 and she was waking happily on her own, pretty much like clockwork.  When she started sleeping through and needing to be woken for meals again, I thought she was probably ready for a change. During this time, her last meal of the day was at 1930, then she was waking pretty consistently at 0100 and 0430-0500 to eat at night, then waking at 0700-0730 to start the morning and eat.  She would sometimes wake around 0300 also.  What this translates to for me: 2-3 night wakings before I get up for work.  Doable, but not ideal.  I’m glad I took notes because this already seems so long ago!

We went to go see Meghan, James, and Hunter for 2 nights this week!

Week 10

My last week at home.  Bittersweet.  I tried to enjoy every last drop.  Got in lots of cuddles with Jordan and made 2 batches of cookies with Eli.  Marcus was gone this week so he could be in Columbia for my first week back.  Jordan seemed ready to go longer between meals, but I didn’t want to change too much because it was my last week at home.  We went to a solid 3 hour routine.  I had this feeling that she would do a 4 hour just fine, but I didn’t want to mess with what we had going on, which was predictable (predictability is kind of the whole point, in my opinion).  I was also hesitant to change up the day when she wasn’t sleeping through the night yet.

How did he get to be big enough to sit on the counter and eat apples?!?

Momma, are you *sure* you can leave me?

Week 11

My first week back at work.  Jordan’s naps went well and she fell asleep easily for them, with just a couple of exceptions.  In general, repositioning, patting, and singing helped her settle in.  When the naps required some intervention, it was always 45 minutes after falling asleep.  When she did sleep again, she would sleep till the next meal, often needing to be woken, and I felt confident that all was well.  Her routine as follows:

0500 eat –> back to sleep

Eat again at 0800, 1100, 1400, 1700, 2000 with wake times progressing from 40-65 minutes throughout the day.

Waking 1-2 times at night before 0500

Week 12

This week, Jordan was waking up happy at 0700. The rest of the days went well, going down easy for naps and sleeping and eating well.

Week 13

Things started to go a bit awry this week.  She was more often waking up mid-nap and needing a lot of patting and rocking and so forth.  She gets more and more “conversational” every day, and I think it’s really a social thing for her.  Rather than letting her get up and socialize, if she doesn’t calm easily with patting, I move her to the swing in her room to finish her nap.  This seems to work out well.  On my day off, I just start her out in the swing during the nap that coincides with Eli so I can nap too.  Score!  I needed it.

So…you think you can get me to sleep?

Night wake  ups became more frequent, and she was not interested in eating.  Sometimes, she would wake and just “squawk”, making noise, but not really fussing.  Sometimes it would be more of a fuss, but then she would go back to sleep if I didn’t go in the room.  If I didn’t go in, it didn’t progress to crying, and she would go back to sleep.  She never acted super hungry when she did nurse or otherwise gave me reason to later think that food was the issue.  So she was going from 2000-0500 without eating, but rarely sleeping solid for that whole period.

Week 14

Feeling confident that food was not an issue, I decide to play hardball at night. Here’s the deal:  Jordan got to a point where she would fuss or cry, and nothing would make her happy in the middle of the night (nursing, rocking, holding, singing, swinging, cuddling in my bed) except getting to leave her room, have the lights on, and stare at me or her daddy.  She’s kind of always been this way.  Well, social hour at 0300 is just not going to work for us long term.  Plus, the up at night business was beginning to cause issues with daytime sleep.  She was waking early but still tired, and having more trouble settling into sleep.

I finally decided that if she was going to cry even if I was holding her and rocking and trying to nurse her, that there wasn’t much point into going in to hold and rock.  She’s old enough and smart enough at this point to know to cry in order to get the result of leaving the room. At least that’s what it seems to me.  So, we didn’t leave the room.  For 4 nights, she would wake and I would either walk in to make sure she was okay or check the video monitor, but would not pick her up and walk around.  I would pat her bottom, tell her it was time for sleep, and leave the room.

Then, she slept.

The wakings became less frequent, the fussing became less and less, and then she stopped altogether.  After 4 nights, she began to sleep through the night consistently, and so could I.

The days got better too.  She began waking up happy for her meals, settling easily for naps, and sleeping through them well.

Week 15

The only real change this week was that since she was needing to be woken for meals again, we switched to a combo 3/3.5 hour routine.  She was very happy with that, and so was I because I didn’t have to be quite so rushed after work for her 1700 meal because it’s now at 1730, like this:

0800, 1130, 1430, 1730, 2000

Still sleeping at night, with my waking her at 0500 to eat before work.

Week 16

Started out okay, and became another lesson in wake times.  On Monday, the day went well, but started with 90 minute wake time (whereas she had been tiring after 40-45 minutes in the morning).  The rest of the day continued to have progressively longer times, but went relatively smoothly, according to Kathy’s notes (which she is AWESOME for keeping, by the way.  One of the MANY reasons I love her).  Jordan was fussy that evening and slept poorly that night.  Tuesday was a little hairy.  Kathy said she’d never seen Jordan so tired and fussy and upset (she’s generally very happy).  Wednesday was my day off and I tried to get things back on track. Things got progressively better through the rest of the week and by Friday evening, she was settling down easily again and I felt like my baby was back to herself.  Hooray!

Currently…

So that’s that.  Since then, things have been pretty smooth sailing and I get to sleep at night.  We’ve entered the era of “sweetness and light”, as I like to say.  Baby sleeps, things are easy, and there’s just nothing but love there.  Life is good.

I probably won’t be doing another detailed series like this because I feel like things have stabilized and there’s not a lot to say.  I don’t know if anyone will find it helpful, but I did it as much for my own information in the future as much as anything else.  It’s truly amazing how much you forget!

I’ve had a lot of people comment about how happy, mellow, and content both my kiddos were, and I’m often asked what I did.  So there it is.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  That’s what works for me.  I don’t know if it will work for you, but it’s worked for me twice now on two very different babies.  If you are struggling with baby sleep, I hope you find what works for you, too.  I welcome any questions or comments.

Happiness is a Warm Baby

2 months

Two months go by so fast with a newborn.  Much like how I felt I after welcoming Eli to the family, I feel, in a way, as if we’ve always had Jordan.  I know it sounds strange.  Believe me, life is different with two.  Things are a lot different than they were 2 months ago, but it just kind of feels like she was always meant to be a part of our family.

Merry Christmas from the Wades! 12/25/2012…Jordan’s due date.

She’s a smiley, happy little girl.  She’s very social, and wants to be a part of the action.  She just loves to look around.  At times, she has this soul-penetrating stare that I never saw in Eli when he was a newborn.  Even when she was brand new and very sleepy, she would look at us with a very direct gaze for an extended period.  The term “old soul” has taken on a whole new meaning for me.  It’s seriously like she’s been here before or something.  Then, just when you think the tiny creature somehow knows all your secrets, she’ll bust out one of these:

and seems like a totally normal baby.  She was smiling before we left the hospital, and had me convinced of a social smile in under a month.  What a treat!  She smiles a lot, but it’s hard to catch it on camera.  I mostly just try to soak them in in person.

She’s pretty laid back about most things.  This is her Christmas dress.  She was precious in it, but the glitter was unfortunate.  It did NOT shed in the store, or I would not have purchased it.  But it did shed on her and she had glitter bits stuck in her neck rolls for a week.  I promised her I would not put her in a ridiculous dress again until she requests it.  I had my baby doll moment, and it’s been soft cotton jammies ever since.

One distinct difference I noticed between her and her brother: a certain ambivalence.  I don’t know if it’s a male/female thing, or just a two different babies thing, but she’s much harder to read.  When Eli was hungry, upset, tired, or overstimulated, I felt like I had a very good read on his cues at two weeks.  With her, sometimes I’m not sure what she’s telling me at two months.  I’m not sure if she knows!  She’s more like, “oh well, yes, I guess I could eat….okay.  If you insist….on second thought, I’ll just smile at you and then stare into your soul.”  It’s awesome, but it’s definitely different.

She’s also MUCH more cuddly, which is wonderful.  I’m guessing she’s going to be very friendly and social.  She’s just very interested in other people and what they are doing.  Physically, Jordan is pretty strong, I think.  She can raise her head and shoulders up off the floor and wiggle around a fair amount.  She will turn herself 90 degrees in the crib when she’s on her back.  She’s just much more mobile than I remember E being at this age.  We think she’s a pretty awesome little girl.  Okay, on to the picture progression:

1 week

1 month

2 months

2 months

Isn’t it amazing how fast they grow?

Sleep Progress: Weeks 5-8

Week 5: This week was tough.  With Jordan’s adjusted age now at 40 weeks gestation, she’s a full term newborn and I’m starting at square one.  She’s eating faster now, with meals taking 45 minutes-1 hour.  Still waking her every 2.5 hours in the day in hopes that she will need less at night.  Every now and then I get a longer stretch of 3.5-4 hours at night, but it’s often more frequent that during the day and she usually wakes every 2 hours to eat.  It’s exhausting, but she is going back to sleep more readily after eating than what she has been, and making fewer attempts to socialize at 3 AM.  At the end of the week, I realize she’s outgrown some clothes that fit fine last week, and I blame this every 2 hours business on a growth spurt.  It makes me feel better.  Marcus leaves on Christmas night for a week and a half, which leaves me alone with the kids during the day and night for part of this week, but I feel super accomplished when I make it all work together.  I’ve been working on getting a routine together so the two of them have staggered naps and mealtimes, with some overlap during the afternoon nap, which means rest for me.  They each get one on one time with me.  I really feel like we got into a groove with that this week.

Week 6: Marcus is still gone, but Kathy came in for at least part of every weekday except New Years Day.  What a blessing!  I really feel like my energy came back this week, although it’s not because I’m getting good sleep at night.  Usually every 2.5 and some refusal to go back to sleep in the early morning hours 0300-0600.  Meals usually lasting 45 minutes.  Jordan gets put in her swing a little more at night.  I have to let her cry a bit.  I decide when I’m going to let it happen and for how long and I watch the clock for 5 minutes.  Magically, that’s the amount of time it takes.  I don’t want to have to use the swing too much, but if that’s what I’ve got to do to get some rest, then so be it.  I’m feeling the end of my maternity leave approaching (10 weeks total) and start to do some more for myself.  On Thursday and Friday of this week, I hit the gym during nap time and it feels really good to work out again.  I don’t feel overtired or sore at all.  On Saturday, I made an executive decision that Jordan may sleep on her belly with the Snuza Hero monitor in place.  She slept for a 6 hour stretch at night and I was super excited until I realized that getting somewhat appropriate rest just reminds my body how tired I really am.  I’m pretty wiped out.

Don’t worry. Children of the 70s and 80s turned out just fine after sleeping this way. Plus, I have her on an apnea monitor 🙂

Week 7: Marcus is home this week, and Jordan is back to wanting to hang out at night more.  She’s waking up less than an hour after she’s put down at night, and it seems to be worse if he’s helping me.  Lots of fussing and walking the floor, which doesn’t seem to be helping anything.  Every time I think we’re making progress, we seem to go back to the super frequent wake ups.  I’m trying to make sure she gets plenty of social time during the day instead of at night.  On Monday I have my OB checkup (which clarifies a bit about her birth for me), Tuesday I get a much needed haircut, and Wednesday I have a massage.

A much needed haircut.

It feels pretty awesome to do stuff for myself, but Elijah starts acting up a bit I think because I’m missing out on time with him.  Wednesday and Thursday afternoons, I make a special effort to spend extra one on one time with him, and it really seems to make a difference in his behavior.  On Friday, we all walked to the park together, which was nice.  On Saturday night, she gives me 2 separate nearly 4 hour stretches between meals, and I’m pretty stoked.  Maybe this is the light at the end of the tunnel 🙂  During one of the stretches, she wakes, but is easily patted back to sleep.  This is a very good sign!  Hoping for more like this in week 8.

Week 8:  For the latter part of week 7, naps were getting worse, I was finding myself having to put Jordan in the swing more often at night, and she was becoming more restless when she was sleeping.  On Sunday, I decided that I need to read up and refresh myself on Baby Wise principles following a rather rough transition into bedtime.  Things seem to be getting worse, not better, and I’m back to work in 3 weeks.  Something needs to change.

I finally had to let her cry in her crib because she was crying in the crib, crying being held, and crying in the swing, even right after she had just been nursed, changed, etc.  All her needs had been met and she wasn’t happy.  I suspected overtiredness, figured if she’s going to cry while I hold and rock her, she may as well cry in her crib.  I trust this as my mommy instinct and go with it.  I tuck her in, sing lullabies, say prayers and tell her I love her the way I always do, and then I walk out the door.  15 minutes later, she’s sound asleep.  After I put her to bed, I read some very helpful posts from Chronicles of a Baby Wise Mom.  I don’t know how this blogger manages to keep up her site like she does with 4 kiddos, but it’s such a blessing that she does!  It’s an amazing supplement to the book.  I used the principles of this book with E, and I’ve been very happy with the results.  I’ll post another time about why and how.  I’ve also learned there are a lot of misconceptions regarding this book floating around on the web.  What I can tell you is that it sure as heck worked for us, x2!

I realized over the weekend that while I had been making sure to get a full meal in (usually only takes 30 minutes now), wake her for mealtimes during the day, and follow the routine of wake –>eat –>activity –> sleep (putting her down awake, but drowsy), I was missing two important things:

1) I had not been paying close enough attention to her waketimes.  I had forgotten what the normal waketime range for her age is supposed to be, and was allowing them to be longer than they should be.  According to the author, waketimes should trend toward longer, not shorter, as the day wears on, and this was happening.  BUT, I was starting with an hour waketime in the morning and progressing to 2 hours of her final waketime before bed.  Way too long.

2) I was not always starting the day at the same time, consistently, every day.  I knew this is important, because I remember that once I made morning consistent and figured out naps with Eli, things got a lot better at night.  It’s just so hard to stay disciplined.  Say your desired waketime is 0730.  That means starting at 0730 (margin no more than 0715-0745) every.single.day.  Even if last night was rough.  Even if your toddler is sick.  Even if baby just got up and ate at 0600 and you’d really like to sleep until 0830 or 9.  Get up at the desired waketime and make her eat.

So, starting Monday morning, I did these two things and kept a log.  I don’t like taking notes, because I can remember when she ate last, but I knew I needed to write down when she was showing the first signs of tiredness.  As soon as I got my nerd on with the sleep cycles, woah did it make a difference!  For her first morning waketime, she yawns 35-40 minutes after waking.  20 minutes doesn’t seem like much?  Well, it made all the difference in my world as soon as I started doing what I realized I should.

I’m lucky because both of my babies yawned when they are tired.  When E was little, he was easier to read than J is.  He would yawn, and just look so over playtime, it was easy to know when to put him down.  Jordan will yawn, then SMILE at me!  She wanted to hang out.  And so did I.  When you’ve spent weeks with a super drowsy, but up frequently, preemie, it’s so refreshing to have some interaction that doesn’t involve the food source you have become.  But I was allowing our fun time to creep into her nap time, and a tired baby doesn’t rest well, period.  But here’s the thing, while she was happy to hang out, I found she was also happy to be put down for her nap, she fell asleep easily without much assistance, and generally stayed asleep until the next mealtime.  This means she’s now waking up more rested, takes a full meal more quickly, and sleeps more soundly at night.

This is the smile she shoots me after yawning while we’re winding down for a nap. It’s a trick! This baby is tired and needs her nap!

I added one more bit that’s not in the book.  If I want to continue nursing, I need her to eat before I leave for work.  So, I set my alarm for a 0500 scheduled “dreamfeed”, and she goes back to bed, and I leave for work.  It’s not as bad as it sounds.  When I was in anesthesia school, I had to do it at 0400.  When I did this with E, he dropped the middle of the night meal and life was sweet.

Objective data? On Sunday night (remember: this is before I committed to sleep nerdery on Monday), she slept for 3.5 hours after bedtime, then was up every 2 after that.  Not fun.  On Monday, I saw immediate improvement with naps there was no fussing or crying at all.  Monday night, she slept for 4 hours after bed, then 2.5, then 3.25 (I woke her at 0500), then 2.25 (start the day at 0730).  So not a lot of objective improvement there, but she was sleeping more soundly during each of those times.  On Tuesday, I saw some awesome changes in nighttime sleep.  She ate at 1930, bed at 2000, then did not wake until 0100.  That’s 5.5 hours  –a record for her.  Then she ate at 0500 and 0730 (I woke her) Wednesday morning.  That means just one wake up for me during normal, workday, nighttime sleep!!!  That I can handle, and at this rate, I have hope that she may drop it before I have to go back to work.  If not, that’s okay too.  Wednesday and Thursday were similar, with a slightly less optimal night on Friday, with 3 wake ups before 0730, but no refusal to sleep was going on.  Overall though, I feel we are headed in the right direction.

I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to see my baby happily go down for naps and sleep without any upset periods at night.  It’s even more satisfying because I know it’s the result of changes I have made to help make it easier for her to learn to sleep on her own.  We all like to help our wee ones, right?

I’m choosing to disclose the nitty gritty because I appreciate it when I get that from other parents.  We’ve had a handful of episodes that required short periods of crying before a nap or bedtime, but on those occasions, she slept soundly afterward until I woke her for another meal.  Because she eats every 2.5 hous for 30 minutes, I have no doubt that she’s being adequately nourished.

These are not the cheeks and chin of an underfed baby. She also has 4 thigh rolls, which I will not post out of consideration for her teenage self.

For the most part, I’d say 95% of sleep times, there’s just a period of grunting and sighing as she settles into sleep.  With her earlier issues of GI distress, reflux, and prematurity resolved, I feel comfortable with the choices I’m making at this point.  This may not be the way everyone would choose to do things.  I do because it’s what worked for both of my kiddos, with a little variation in the particulars, but the principles have remained true.

4 weeks

It’s hard to believe it’s been four weeks since this little lovely entered our lives.  It’s even harder to believe that she wasn’t due to arrive until 4 days from now.  At any rate, it’s flown by.  Time does that when you’re not sleeping much 😉

It’s funny how much I’d forgotten about this newborn phase, especially because it’s been less than two years since I did this. I’d like to summarize things thus far so I can have it to look back on with some semblance of accuracy. This is based on some notes I’ve been keeping along the way.  While I already feel tremendous love for her, that’s not really what this post is about.  It’s more of a weekly progress note on eating, sleeping, and general goings-on.  I will save the mushy stuff for another post.

Week 1: The first week, she was very, very sleepy.  Probably a combination of her prematurity and her jaundice/hyperbilirubinemia.  Whatever it was, she had to be woken at night to eat.  It was fortunate that she was able to latch well and nurse right away, as this is sometimes a problem for late-preterm wee ones like her, who are right on the margin of being able to nurse, but aren’t too awesome at it.  Breastfeeding is more work for babies than drinking from a bottle.  Because she was a little raw, she took 1-2 hours to do this work for every meal.  I was feeding her every 3 hours around the clock.  That doesn’t allow a lot of rest for the only lactating person in the house! I let her go for 5 hours once at night, and Marcus got onto me.  We were concerned about 2 things: 1) we wanted to make sure she was maintaining her weight 2) bilirubin is eliminated through stool.  More meals –> more poo –> less orange baby.  We wanted her off the UV blanket asap so we wouldn’t have to take her in for (painful) daily lab draws anymore.  We need not have worried about her weight…she was up 12 ounces from birth weight at her 2 week check.

I also spent time this week trying to get her nursery together.  It was only slightly improved from this post when she was born.  You know all that advice that says to finish the nursery in your second trimester?  Yeah, I didn’t follow that this time around.  Something about an adorable toddler and moving to start a new job at 6 months pregnant, combined with a husband who commutes out of town and is gone half time.  I swear I had big plans for Thanksgiving weekend in this department, but our little lady decided to make her appearance on Black Friday.  I am fully aware that the nursery is really for me, so it’s really not a big deal, but I did need to buy a few things that I thought I had here, but were actually still at our old house 3 hours away.  So I did get to make several outings on my own to pick up some essential supplies.  Four weeks in, the nursery is functional, but I’m still working on the form bit.  It’s going to be awhile.  Hugs, kisses, Christmas, eating, and napping all take priority over aesthetics at this point.  We are blessed with some awesome friends and family that have provided some sweet little girl clothing for Jordan, either through gifts or through lending their personal collections.  Thank you so much!

Week 2: This week, she was off the UV light, her bilirubin levels were falling, and she was starting to perk up.  We started the week by visiting some good friends of ours for the evening, which was super nice.  Except for being unable to have a drink or get into the hot tub!  Soon enough.  This was the week that she started to show some GI issues.  I think I may be unable to produce a child who gestates to 40 weeks, and is without jaundice and tummy troubles.  Oh well, there are certainly worse things.  I start giving her baby gas-x at every meal and limit dairy and spicy foods from my diet, as those were culprits for Elijah.  During this week, mealtimes were usually 1-1.25 hours long and I we were sticking with the every 3 hours bit during day, which was generally continuing into the night.  The first week, I was trying to sleep in my bed, and either get up to feed her or Marcus would bring her to me.  In week 2, I opted to sleep on the sofa with her in the pack’n’play bassinet in the living room.  This made it easier to comfort her for gas issues because I was immediately available without disturbing him by getting out of bed.  Giving him 7-8 hours of duty-free time enabled me to say “Tag, you’re it” at 0600 and sign off until the next meal time.  Her two week checkup was great, with a 12 oz. weight gain from her birth weight.  Her pediatrician suggests a probiotic product for infants, but I want to see how it goes for a bit with our current regimen.  I’m hesitant to introduce this foreign flora into her thus far uncharted GI tract.  Jordan starts to get a little bit of a double chin 🙂

My mother in law is kind enough to send us out for a date.  We use our 1.5 hour window to have a cocktail and appetizer.  Nice.  I order something called a Raspberry Royale.

Week 3 Meal times still 1-1.25 hours, and this is my first week without Marcus in town.  Not easy, but I actually find that I get into a groove when I’m flying solo at night.  Much like when I opt to sleep in a separate room with her, being on my own means there’s no one else to disturb, no one to think about passing her off to for a diaper change or a burp, and I just kind of go into auto pilot.  It feels like working a night shift.  Like my body realizes it’s my job to be awake instead of every meal feeling like an interruption in my precious sleep.  Her tummy troubles are so bad, she’s in such obvious pain, I let her sleep on my chest, my belly, anything that seems to give her relief.  Anything to ease her pain and let us both sleep.  That first Sunday night, I do not sleep at all.  And I find myself feeling very resentful.  Then very, very guilty for feeling resentful.  Resentful also on E’s behalf because I know he’s not getting good sleep either.  That Monday morning, my wonderful, sent-from-heaven nanny, Kathy,  comes to hang out with E, give me a break from J to sleep, and assures me that it’s normal to feel this way.  In the light of day, I felt all the love in the world toward sweet little Jordan, but man was I feeling low the night before.  Apparently, this was kind of the rock bottom of my newborn time, and I have not felt that way since.  It was incredibly humbling.

Throughout this week, the worst times for her, GI-wise, seem to be from 0300-0600.  There is no sleep for either of us during that time.  She’s very restful for the remainder of the morning and needs to be woken up for meals every 3 hours.  At the end of the week, I have to take her in for one last blood draw because they overlooked her repeat PKU screening at her two week check.  I go ahead and pick up the probiotic that our pediatrician suggested.  I see some improvement that first night, getting a couple of 3 hour stretches from the beginning of one meal time to the next, and the 0300-0600 time frame gets less painful.

Week 4 The big change this week is that I decide to wake her every 2.5 hours instead of 3 to eat.  I try one day of every 2 hours, but decide she really doesn’t have enough time to get rest between meals that way.  So 2.5 it is.  My goal is to get her to eat more during the day so her tummy may be able to rest a bit at night.  I do see some improvement in this area, as she seems much less pained, which is encouraging.  She’s also more wakeful during the day.  I start to consider that I may have an imbalance of foremilk/hindmilk to due oversupply, and drop my 2x/daily pumping sessions to once daily at the start of the week, and switch to one-sided nursing about halfway through the week.  By the end of the fourth week, I’ve stopped pumping altogether.  I decide a comfy tummy now is worth more than stored milk for later.  I had this issue with E and switched to 1-sided nursing when he was about 7 weeks.  I made the switch and saw immediate improvements in him, so I thought it was worth a try for her.  It does seem to help, and she’s not waking near as often from gas pain.

Something I do notice this week, now that the gas pain is somewhat resolved, is that she seems to want to socialize at night! She will fuss and cry, but if I sit up with her, look into her eyes, and have the light on, she’s happy.  Turn it off, she’s upset again.  Girlfriend wants to party all night long.  While I was more than willing to do whatever it took to bring her comfort from pain, I do not want to have social time at 3 am, no matter how cute the company.  I put her in her own bed.  She cries, I spend several hours trying to comfort her back to sleep in between meals, then I end up doing something I never thought I would do with a 4 week old.  I let her cry.  It only takes 5 minutes, but it’s awful.  But then we all sleep for 3 uninterrupted hours and I feel like I’ve done the best thing for all of us.  I’d rather have this settled now than in 6-8 months, when it’s a much bigger battle.  We can have all the hugs and kisses and cuddles she wants in the daytime, but I’m trying establish that nighttime is for sleeping.  Ah, the joys of newborn phase.

My child has jazz hands.